Being Like Beckham
I am obsessed with David Beckham and I can’t write about anything else until I get it off my chest. I’m hoping by writing this I will kill two birds with one stone: do “writing” and allow myself to think about him non-stop.
I watched Beckham on Netflix. It is a four part documentary directed by Fisher Stevens (Hugo from Succession - it’s a really cozy crossover of two very specific worlds whenever he pops into frame).
I didn’t know anything about David Beckham - I knew so little in fact, that I worried it was a “where is he now” rather than what it is, which is a celebration. I didn’t realize he was so devastatingly handsome, I didn’t understand how good he was at soccer, and I certainly did not get what it meant to “bend it like Beckham”. I had no idea that in addition to his beauty and athleticism he is magnetic and gentle, wounded rather than arrogant. Plus, he’s married to Posh Spice.
The Spice Girls were the single most important thing in my life for no less than two very formative years. Pre-Google Images, I savored any photo of the Spice Girls I could get my hands on. As part of the fan club, I received 4x6 printed photos in a photo album as though taken by my own disposable camera and developed at CVS. I searched the behind-the-scenes photos for unseen details, imagined what might be out of frame, convincing myself they were my friends. I collected Spice Pop wrappers in a box in my bedroom, I knew every line from Spice World. I recited “equalization between the sexes” without knowing what I was saying, I just loved Ginger Spice and thought it was naughty to say ‘sexes’.
When I was in the third grade, my mother allowed me to get platform sneakers from Fashion Bug. They were white and black and instead of laces, they had zippers. Picture 8 year old me in gym class wearing these:
Like a good Spice Girl, I believed David Beckham was an overhyped soccer player in the way of precious girl power. After watching Beckham, I see I was wrong. He is worthy. He’s both a football player and a champion of girl power. Every episode I fell more in love with not just him - a footballer with a heart of gold - but with him and Victoria (Posh Spice), as a couple.
David Beckham’s football career spans 20 years. (I cannot stress enough how understated my summary is. Watch it just to see the expression on his face when he talks about his life.) He played for the Manchester United Premier League. He was famously blamed for England’s loss in the WorldCup in 1998. He was already harassed daily by the paparazzi but after that he was hated by almost everyone in England. Imagine the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen swarmed by paparazzi while hoards of drunk British men holding pints of beer shout the meanest things you’ve ever heard as he ducks in and out of cars. He later played for Real Madrid, LA Galaxy in America, then to Paris before retiring in 2013. He is one of the greatest football players of all time.
Throughout all that he and Victoria stayed married and had four children. Victoria is rock solid, her coldness makes her seem sure of everything, which makes me feel safe.
Watching it after reading Britney Spears’s memoir, The Woman in Me, it finally hit me just how horrible the paparazzi were in the 90s and early 2000s. David and Victoria, like Britney, seemed to be out of their depths in managing that kind of attention. Now, with social media, celebrities have more control over their public image. We have endless reality shows. David and Victoria went through hell and this documentary is their way of processing and reclaiming their narrative. I was too young in the 90s to question the tabloids and even if I wanted to, I had no access to the internet so whatever I saw on magazine covers in the grocery store I believed to be true. If the tabloids said he was a bad boy, I believed he was a bad, bad boy. David Beckham describes how in his darkest hours he retreated to the warmth of the spice world, seeking comfort in Victoria and “the girls”. Had I known this back in 1999, I would have loved him as much as the boys wearing Beckham jerseys to soccer practice.
His career as an athlete is something I will never understand. Yes, I played soccer in high school but…no we did not win games. I was in it for the gossip at practice, for rolling the waistband of my Umbro shorts, for the thrill of shouting “keep it up ladies!”
My obsession with David Beckham is not about football. It’s not just because of his cockney accent, how he says “bruvvah”, how every word dips down like a gulp, softer, higher pitched than his tattooed, athletic build would suggest - it’s a voice you can trust, not a sinister note to be heard. It’s not just how he raises one eyebrow when he speaks about Victoria. It’s not only because he calls the Spice Girls “the girls”. It’s that he seems good and thoughtful. He’s an example of a successful person who against all odds, doesn’t seem to have been ruined by fame. He values being a good husband, appears to be a great dad. Treasures both.
Just watch this video of him getting surprised by his eldest boy, Brooklyn:
Is that not the most tender moment you’ve ever seen? It is not performative, instead the sight of his child made him forget he was on camera. Lost for words except for “what are you doing here?” which he repeats into Brooklyn’s beanie. It’s a tangle of arms, father and son tattoos overlapping making it nearly impossible to tell whose hand is which. He’s happy to be wiv his fam’ly, just a happy dad enjoying a glass of white wine on his birthday and it leans more towards relatable than his football career. When I see that, I understand the concept of role models.
In one of the last episodes, David Beckham allows the cameras into his closet. His t-shirts are folded and stacked nicer than at The Gap. He has multiple closets, one for button down shirts, one for suits, one for pants. His preselected outfits for the week ahead hang on a rack, separately. This scene comes after a deep dive into all he has overcome and as I watched accomplishment after accomplishment, intoxicated with adoration, I searched my own life for anything I could pursue with as much passion as he pursued football. Learn the piano? Feverishly write a screenplay until my fingers bleed? Soul Cycle? Nothing felt equivalent to being a professional footballer. How did he know to work so hard at one thing and stick with it long enough to become one of the best of all time? How can he remain so dedicated to his relationship after so many years? The scene in his closet is perfectly timed for here we learn how he does it… he, of course, is an obsessive compulsive perfectionist. There it is. A weakness, a superpower, a way in. I may not have one passion to pursue but if I lean into my own existing neuroses in order to become more organized, maybe I could pursue life a little more like David Beckham.
I won’t become a famous footballer, I didn’t marry a pop star, I won’t achieve the things David Beckham has achieved under as much scrutiny, but along with his tenderness, kindness I can adopt his discipline and his dedication to routine. Girl power, indeed.
I heard this once and it made an impact: If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready. I’m gushing now and my obsession with him is finally subsiding but I feel the Beckhams are certainly an example of that. Keep the minor details in order so you can focus on the big picture and stay diligent. I’m building the habit of making my bed the same exact way every morning. To reduce clutter, I’m diligently using up products (skincare, pens, cleaning supplies) before buying anything new. I fold my sweatpants. If I feel bored, I set timers and tidy the house instead of looking at Instagram. I want every object to have its place, I never again want to be late because I “couldn’t find my keys”. Unfortunately, I lean less towards productive perfectionist and more towards over-thinker. Needless to say, my efforts have half worked: my bed is made, my laundry folded but I’ve been editing this one blog post for weeks as though one typo, one dumb idea will end my life. That’s counter productive and not like Beckham. The Beckham way is: know where your keys are, keep up the projects, move forward.